A Fresh Perspective
by littlerose23
Summary: Stefan has lost his memory and he can't help but feel that Damon (his brother) isn't giving him the full story. He thinks Elena (his brother's girlfriend) might have an agenda. And so far the friendly blond is the only one he feels he can trust, he's drawn to her. The events of episode 5x04 "For Whom the Bell Tolls" told from Stefan's point of view. A Steroline story.
1. Chapter 1

**_First and foremost I am a Klaroline shipper but since the writers stole Klaus away and put him in 'The Originals' I've had a void to fill. Since Tyler is _****so****_ not good enough for Caroline; and Elena is _****so****_ not good enough for Stefan; and I've always loved the Steroline friendship, I thought I'd give Steroline a go. So this is my, Steroline heavy, version of 5x04 "For Whom the Bell Tolls". It's definitely going to be more than one chapter but I'm not sure how far I can make it go so please bear with me and ideas and constructive criticism are most welcome._**

Another shot of whiskey burned a delicious path down his throat as he drank along with everyone else to the ringing of the bell. It seemed a bit strange, the ringing and drinking thing. But then a lot seemed strange right now. Hell, for all he knew he did this every week. So he wasn't questioning or judging, he was just going with it, and actually he was sort of enjoying himself. But as he continued to study the man sitting across the table from him Stefan realised that this wasn't a regular occurrence, not for them.

Damon. His brother. Brothers drink together. Brothers have a good time together. Stefan seemed to know that to be true instinctively, just like he knew what year it was, what state he was in and who was president. Facts he still had, but relationships, memories, those were all gone. So what he didn't know - didn't remember - was what his and Damon's relationship was like. However the subtle awkwardness in Damon's posture; the slight stiffness in his shoulders; the subconscious defensiveness of his body language, told him that things between them weren't always as friendly as Damon was trying to make out. But Stefan didn't really mind that Damon was acting just a little too relaxed for it to be natural, (after all how comfortable would you really be in the event of your vampire sibling losing all memory of his life)? Stefan appreciated the effort all the same. Especially since Damon knew everything that he didn't: all the petty fights, grudges and squabbles that occurred in a hundred and odd years worth of sibling rivalry. Maybe ignorance really is bliss. Maybe this was the perfect opportunity for a clean slate, a chance to start a fresh.

"Stefan!" his eyes automatically jumped to the source of the squeal and his glass froze half way to his mouth. She was blond and beaming and beautiful, and she was heading straight for him. Her smile was so radiant with warmth and so welcoming that it stole his breath away. She stopped in front of him and just stood staring down at him, her smile making her blue eyes sparkle as her eyes drank him in. Stefan opened his mouth...once, twice. He was stumped. He wished he had something to say, but he didn't. Luckily she jumped to his rescue with a dismissive wave of her hand and a bubble of laughter that tugged up the corners of his mouth.

"Don't worry I know you don't know who I am, that's ok." There was no pity in her eyes only happiness. "As soon as I heard you were back I just had to see you with my own two eyes. I've been worried." Concern darkened the blue of her eyes as she studied his face.

"He's doesn't care Barbie." Damon's snide remark was like a hard slap, rudely reminding him that they weren't alone. He watched as all the light and kindness in her eyes instantly shut down when she shifted her attention to Damon with a cold glare.

"He has no memories Damon, not no _feelings_. Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean the rest of us don't appreciate a little compassion." When she turned back to Stefan her anger had already melted away into a friendly smile. "It's good to have you back Stefan. I'm glad you're ok."

"Thanks," he couldn't help but return her smile, it was infectious. "I'm fine. I just wish I had memories." He added.

"Yeah that kinda sucks," her smile slipped to a sympathetic grimace "But don't worry we'll help you through this."

Yet again Damon's obnoxious voice cut through them "Well right now _I'm_ helping him and _you_ are interrupting." He pointed an accusatory finger at Caroline accompanied by his typical, sarcastically cold smile.

"Don't talk to her like that." His angry growl seemed to startle both Damon and Caroline but he didn't care. Stefan was furious. Damon had been rude; but more than that, it had been an indirect way of telling her to leave and Stefan wasn't about to let him do that. He didn't want her to leave. He didn't know who she was, or what she was to him but she was the first person to show him genuine concern and warmth, more so than his own brother.

He was acting on impulse, an instinct to defend her from his brother (later he would have to question the implications of that but right now it felt right so he went with it). Damon's eyes widened with surprise then narrowed in anger, darting between Caroline and Stefan.

"It's ok Stefan." Caroline said, eyes alert and flicking nervously to Damon. She was eager to diffuse the sudden tension, but patted a hand to his arm in a silent thank you. He instantly missed the contact as soon as she dropped her hand away.

"Stay? Have a drink?" He asked her hopefully, not sure if their relationship allowed him to do anymore than make it a pleasant request when really he wanted to insist.

Caroline hesitated, glancing uneasily at Damon. "I'm sure you two have loads you need to catch up on. I wouldn't want to get in the way."

At that he knew he wanted her to stay. It was thoughtful. It was an acknowledgement that they were brothers, that this was delicate and difficult and required some space and time. It was a recognition of boundaries. It was considerate of what would be in his best interests right now. It was what Elena had failed to do all day.

There and then Stefan decided how happy and grateful he was to have her in his life. But just as quickly as the thought occurred to him a niggling doubt pushed in. Maybe he was over thinking her excuse. Maybe it was just that - an excuse - and she just wasn't interested enough to stay. Maybe she wasn't a significant part of his life. He was surprised to realise that that thought hurt to even consider so he pushed it aside and ordered himself not to second guess things. She said herself she had been worried about him, hadn't she? For the first time all day Stefan felt the burden of losing his memories.

"See you at the party tonight?" she asked him slipping seamlessly back into her bright-bubbliness. Was that eagerness he heard in her voice? Stefan nodded his response with a smile, a genuine one. He didn't know what party she was talking about but it didn't matter, he was going.

He watched her walk away and his frustration grew as the comfort of her company disappeared. Stefan felt a sudden hunger for information, details, knowledge of his life, a hunger that Damon and Elena had been trying to ignite all day to no avail and this friendly little blond had done it with a smile and a few kind words.

"Wait!" he jumped to his feet, ignoring Damon's calculating frown as he rushed to catch her before she reached the door. Then he hesitated. Frustration stabbed at him again. "I'm sorry but I don't know your name." He grimaced, feeling a mixture of regret and embarrassment, but her smile only brightened as she held out her hand to him.

"Caroline Forbes. Vampire. Libra. Neurotic Control Freak. And your best friend."

"What the hell was that?" Damon hissed when Stefan retook his seat, satisfied that the edge had been taken off his craving for information. For now.

"You tell me." Stefan shot back. His anger instantly returning at Damon's rude reaction to Caroline. Caroline. That was her name and she was his best friend.

**_What did you think...? Ideas...? Constructive criticisms...?_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_THANK YOU to everyone who has read and followed and favourited and reviewed. _**

**_Extra love goes to those who review because a writer can't ever get anywhere without readers to guide them. _**

**_And a special shout out to Jo MH3 who's PM gave my teeny-tiny ego a lovely little boost._**

**_This is perhaps more of a filler chapter. There's not a whole lot of action but I felt it was important for establishing how my Stefan is thinking. It is still sticking more-or-less to the 5x04 storyline but as I said I felt it was necessary to help you understand my version of events once I start to deviate from the show._**

Elena appeared at their table not long after Caroline had left. She looked expectant when she greeted him and Stefan didn't understand why. All day she had looked at him expectantly, questioningly. But there was something else too; like she was assessing him or awaiting his judgment. It was like she wanted his opinion on something; only he couldn't remember the question. And that pissed her off because he should be paying attention to her, but why? His head hurt. It was all very confusing and if he was honest a bit scary, like they were waiting for him to know something and once he did, once the penny dropped, the dynamics would change.

The three of them went back to the boarding house, a strange, tense atmosphere hanging over them. Stefan wasn't entirely sure why but from what he gathered Elena was angry at Damon for not telling Stefan all about her. '_How self involved_' he couldn't help but think, as he tried his best to ignore the duo. After all, today was meant to be about getting his memories back; learning about his own life, not hearing about his brother's girlfriend.

Finally alone Stefan stood savouring the peace and quiet, revelling in the sudden relaxation that came from no longer being watched incessantly. The happy couple had needed to speak privately about something, about what he didn't care, and he was more than happy for the opportunity to leave them to it. Free from Elena's smothering prodding's of _'what about this, do you remember this?'_ and Damon's passive aggressive jabs including the condescending over use of _'little brother'_ to address him. Ok yes, they had been trying to help him, but it was all a lot to take in. Stefan was pretty sure he still needed time to process the fact that he had no memories, never mind all the facts and information they had been incessantly firing at him. But all confusing thoughts and observations were pushed easily from his mind by the image of the captivating blond playing over and over again in his mind.

So here he stood alone in his room, feeling a soft buzz from the alcohol, a pleasant lightness from his encounter with Caroline and a hint of mild curiosity as he surveyed his personal space, but still no _'eureka!'_ spark of recognition. He flicked absently through a diary at the top of a pile of diaries, on a shelf of diaries, in a bookcase full of diaries. It was daunting. His life, his thoughts and feelings and opinions all recorded and stored right in front of him. But he wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to read them. Maybe there would be things he didn't want to remember, things he had previously wished to forget. After all, wouldn't it be bad things you'd write down, things to get off your chest, get out of your system. If you were blissfully happy you wouldn't really take the time to sit down and write about it. Keeping a diary was more of a therapeutic tool; like an emotional detox; a sulky, sullen, broody type of pastime. He let his fingers drift across the older leather spines crammed into the top shelf. _Wow_, that's a lot of brooding. Stefan pulled his hand away and turned his back.

He turned his attention instead to the few picture frames dotted about the room, searching for hints of personality and clues to relationships all forgotten. His eyes scanned quickly around to locate them all, doing a quick count of the framed snap-shots to his life, and then he saw it. A picture of him and Caroline. This was good. This meant she was an important part of his life. Stefan reflexively smiled in answer to the sparkling grin on the alluring blond staring up at him. He could almost see the joy and excitement flowing out of her and infecting his past self, with her arm hooked tightly around his neck and her temple resting against his as her other arm reached out holding the camera. There closeness was comfortable, Stefan noted. His thoughts jumped to tonight, to this party, to seeing Caroline again and he recognised the feeling tingling through his muscles as excitement. He savoured the feeling, eager and delighted. Stefan caught himself thinking that maybe he _should _read the diaries after all, or at least skim through them for entries about Caroline.

Then another picture caught his eye and unwillingly pulled his attention. His smile slipped into a frown. It was a picture of him and Elena. That wasn't right. It was too intimate. Their closeness, their touch, too familiar. Stefan thought about the unexplained tension that had cropped up every now and again, her strange anger with Damon, the impression she gave him that she was put out by his memory lose as though insulted or hurt by it. Stefan looked again at the picture before turning it face down on the table.

An icy hand squeezed around his stomach as a terrifying thought struck him. What if he was involved in some horrible love triangle of unrequited love for his brother's girlfriend? Oh God, please say he didn't have feelings for his brother's girlfriend.

Then an idea came to him. Damon had been explaining some of the insider knowledge on vampirism to him, the perks of the lifestyle, one of which was super sensitive hearing. Maybe if he could listen in on them he would get more information than the little titbits they were spoon feeding him. Maybe if he could listen in to them arguing about why Elena was annoyed, or why Damon hadn't told him whatever it was she wanted him to know, he might get a better sense of who they were and what their relationships with him might be like. Stefan closed his eyes and concentrated hard, listening intently for any noise coming from downstairs. He pushed out with his mind, with his senses and felt his awareness widen.

"...you heard from her?" Elena's voice echoed up to him just as loudly as if she were standing next to him, there was a desperate, needy tone to her voice.

"No. No-one has. We don't even know where she is." Damon answered her sounding frustrated.

"But we _need_ her help Damon. She always fixes things, it's what she _does_." Elena moaned.

None of it meant anything to Stefan and he couldn't bear to listen any longer. How on earth could he have developed a crush on someone as self-centred as that? '_Poor Damon'_, he thought with a cringe, thank God she was his problem. Stefan tuned them out again, turning instead to look through the book and music collections. He wondered if he would still like the same things now that his memories were gone, taking away the familiarity and fond associations that so often bond us to our favourite things. A knock at his door interrupted him as he was about to press play on what seemed to be a well worn '_Bon Jovi'_ record. Stefan turned to see Elena leaning casually against the door frame and felt a stab of annoyance.

"So I was thinking maybe I could show you around? Maybe take you to some familiar places and see if it triggers anything?" Stefan hesitated, not really wanting to go with her but not sure what choice he had.

"Where's Damon?" he asked her without answering in an attempt to stall her. Her smile vanished.

"He had something to take care of." she looked confused, again looking upset that he would rather spend time with his brother, _what was her problem_? Seeing no other way out Stefan reluctantly agreed, cringing internally as she instantly turned up the volume of her smile. It had nothing on Caroline's smile, he thought as he followed her out, choosing not to listen as soon as she started to talk. Caroline's smile was so warm; it projected her affectionate and friendly personality to anyone who received it. Elena's smile, however, was laced with charm and confidence. While Caroline smiled with a big heart and kind nature Elena smiled with power, like a girl used to getting what she wanted and it made Stefan suspicious of her intentions.

Betrayal.

Anger.

Heart break.

He felt them all like hot burns searing his flesh. But it was a strange sort of pain. A disconnected sort of pain. Like an awful idea or a disturbing thought that causes you to shudder and wince just considering it, instead of a real wound open and festering with a continued throbbing pain announcing its existence with every beat of your heart.

He had no memory of the events themselves. He couldn't remember loving Elena, he couldn't remember losing her to his brother, he couldn't remember the pain of seeing them together. But he could imagine it. Imagine the agony and the torment. He understood the betrayal. To him, right now, with no memory, it wasn't real. Not really. But it was the principle of it. The knowledge that the two people who were suppose to love him most had willingly broken his trust, broken his heart. How could they do that to him? How could they treat him like that? What about respect and loyalty and faithfulness and love?

He ran aimlessly through the woods, a small part of his brain registering that this was what vampire speed felt like as the world dissolved into a blur, and a rush-so strong and powerful-hummed through his body like an electric current, urging him to go further and faster until he thought he might dissolve into the blurs himself. But the thrill and euphoria was dwarfed by the chilling thoughts running their own dizzying loops through his head. Only one thought stood out clearly in the confused tangle - get away from Elena. Get away from what she represents. As though if he could run away far enough he could run away from the knowledge of what she had done to him.

He realised then exactly what Damon had meant when he spoke earlier about 'the monster taking over'. Damon had warned him about keeping the animal at bay and holding his urges in check. But now he didn't care, he couldn't have even if he wanted to. Anger burned through any barriers of self restraint that where unconsciously in place, eating away his conscience and throwing him into instinct. Beneath the sizzling thrill of his speed, under the euphoric release of letting the monster out, Stefan became aware of a new pain. Different to the emotional pain of betrayal and heartache. A more primal pain. A pounding ache. A torturous need. A hypnotic desire.

A _Thirst!_

As quickly as the feeling hit him, the answer was just as clear.

Blood.

A surge of power overwhelmed his brain then, erasing all rational thought and replacing it with the mind of a predator hunting for his prey.

**_I'm sorry I know there was a distinct lack of Steroline but this was just to set the scene for the next chapter which will be full of Steroline moments. As always comments are welcome. Tell me what you like and what you don't like, or if you spot an annoying mistake, it's the only way I can get any better at this so please help me._**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Sorry for the delay folks I had a slight case of writers block, but fear not, I now have a rough plan outlining where I want to go with the next few chapters. Now I just need to keep finding the time to write. We are still following the general plot line of the show just now (other than the obvious embellishment of the Steroline moments), I'll give you all a heads up when we veer off from the show storyline, which I will do eventually..._**

Tantalizing scents of blood and booze tickled his nose as he prowled through the party. _A party in the woods, what were these people thinking?_ His mind still felt fuzzy and disconnected as though he was fighting to rouse himself from a dream.

Each body he passed was singing out to his thirst with enticing mixes of, sweet endorphins and sensual pheromones. It was like a heady cocktail selection laid out before him, making it hard for him to concentrate. But it wasn't what he was there for so Stefan fought to ignore it and kept searching.

He had already quenched his thirst, already satisfied the urge to hunt, the burning need was temporarily sated and although his thoughts were still driven by desire it was more dulled than the insatiable wave that had consumed him earlier, now he had a desire of a different kind. Not for hot red and sticky, but warm blond and bubbly.

He spotted her, just past the camp fire over to his left, sitting at the base of a tree, a large textbook propped open on her lap. The firelight made her hair shimmer with shades of yellow and honey and gold.

Stefan inhaled deeply, and then exhaled slowly. All the tension ebbed from his body as he relaxed at the sight of her. A sudden calm enveloped him, his mind cleared of all impulses and primal urges. Life around him sharpened into reality as his mind clicked back into focus.

"There she is." He called out, loud enough for her to hear and her eyes instantly snapped to him across the clearing. "Caroline Forbes." He continued with a grin which she returned instantly, much to his delight. "Libra. Control freak." He ticked them off on his fingers as he closed the gap between them, raising his hand to shield his face as he mouthed "_Vampire_. And my best friend." He announced the last one proudly. She pushed herself to her feet and stepped towards him, the grin on her face rolling seamlessly into a giggle once he finished. Stefan noticed that although her eyes showed that she was a little unsure of this behaviour from him she was clearly pleased. Pleased with his playfulness or just by his presence he wondered? He wasn't sure, but he didn't care as long as she continued to be pleased by him.

"You came. And you _remembered_." She said as she pulled him into a hug. Her arm hooked over his shoulder with familiar ease and he revelled in her embrace, in the comfort of her touch.

"Of course. Meeting you has been the highlight of my day." Stefan said as he reluctantly released her waist again, "So far." He added with a suggestive grin. That seemed to throw her off, she looked up at him wide eyed and stunned.

"It-it was?" she said softly.

"Are you kidding? I've been stuck with grumpy and boring all day, you were like my _saviour_." Her laugh was loud and sweet and he found himself yearning to hear it again.

"I've been studying pictures and things from 'my life' most of the day." He told her.

"You have? Anything good?" the interest in her voice was so genuine it made every conversation he had had with Damon and Elena sound false and forced by comparison. "I bet you wore bell bottoms in the 70s." she teased. "I need to see these pictures."

"Actually I was looking for ones of _you_, not me." He laughed.

"Of me?"

"Yeah. Well you said you're my best friend." he shrugged, "I needed to know more about you."

"And?" Caroline questioned, her smile was wide and her eyes had such an honesty and openness that he knew she wasn't at all worried about what he could have found, because she had no secrets from him, and that knowledge lifted him higher than the thrill of the taste of blood.

"You're much hotter in person." He said with a smirk, letting his eyes briefly slid down her frame.

Caroline's eyes went wide and her mouth pinched into a sweet little embarrassed smile. It was so damn cute he had to stop himself from acting on impulse and kissing her. It was the first time he'd fought an impulse in hours, the first time he'd even thought to fight it but he did because for the first time in hours he thought about the consequences and he didn't want to risk scaring her off. His need for her company was much greater than his desire to kiss her, at least for now.

But her reaction told him a lot: his flirtation had thrown her off again. Caroline seemed slightly embarrassed by it. However, Stefan thought she shied away from the _attention_ rather than from _him_, like she was unsure or insecure. How could he have allowed her to be so uncertain of herself? His old self had obviously never been like that with her before and he wondered why the hell not. He grew suddenly angry with his past self and with the anger he felt the monster stir deep within him.

"God how do I not remember you?" He muttered in frustration, more to himself than to her "I mean you're smart, you're pretty, you're funny…" Stefan was too caught up in his irritation to notice the look of shock that flitted across Caroline's face at his words.

Stefan's anger boiled steadily into a fiery rage; rage at his insomnia, rage at his past self, rage at Damon and Elena. The savage beast that had been slumbering deep in his chest since he came to find her was suddenly roused again, this time by his anger towards _himself_. The change in him didn't go unnoticed by Caroline. She saw a hard blackness seep into his eyes, it was a cold and frightening look that she had never seen before. _Was this what the Ripper looked like?_

"Are you ok?" the soft sweetness of her worried voice broke through his thoughts like a blast of cold water, extinguishing the rage and returning it to a smouldering frustration. He sighed.

"Well if by ok you mean: spiralling into ripper oblivion. Then yes, I'm dandy." He snapped.

Stefan regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He winced, realising an instant too late that this was the kind of attitude that had Elena squirming uncomfortably and recoiling from him all day. While that hadn't bothered him, the last thing he wanted to do was chase off the _one_ person he felt a connection to. "I'm a little drunk." He said softly, his head bowing apologetically.

"Yeah. Yeah I can see that." Her words rang with suppressed laughter. Stefan's eyes snapped back up to hers to see if that hint of humour he heard in her voice was actually there. When she smiled at him relief flowed through him and he returned her smile without hesitation. The smile dropped from Caroline's face as she considered him seriously for a moment.

"Look I know I asked you to come but you don't have to be here. I mean it's been a rough day for you if it's too much…"

"No. No, I want to be here." He quickly assured her.

"Ok." She nodded, satisfied with his answer. "So what do you say you and I go and drink, talk, catch up...?"

"Absolutely." He nodded

"I can help you with the cravings too, if you want; it must be difficult right now with the no-memory thing. Just let me say good bye to Jessie."

She turned away, heading back towards her little camp and missing the steely black coldness returning to his eyes. The anger bubbled to the surface of his thoughts again as he watched her speak to some man who grinned at her foolishly. _Who the hell was this guy; her date, her boyfriend?_ Stefan could hear the rush of his own blood as it pounded through his ears, each beat screaming _'Mine. Mine. Mine._'

Stefan was oblivious to the low growl that rumbled in his chest when the man brushed his fingers over the bare skin of Caroline's arm. Every muscle in his body tensed and flexed as the anger and adrenaline shot through his veins. Rational thought was pushed aside by a white-hot possessive anger and his mind slid instead into primal instinct. He assumed the steady, single-mindedness of a predator as he watched his prey, waiting. Finally, Caroline stepped away from the man, turning her back and moving to collect her things, and in that instant the Ripper struck.

_**To my lovely readers, **_

_**Happy Valentine's Day **_

_**Xx**_


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